Everyone who loves a pet will experience the loss of that pet eventually. It is a sad fact. We are never emotionally prepared to face that loss. Sometimes, we as loving pet owners, must choose the time to say good-bye. Euthanasia is one of the most difficult decisions any of us will ever have to face. Regardless of how our pet dies, we all experience grief.
Grief is a very complex set of emotions consisting of several stages which include denial, anger, guilt, depression and eventually acceptance. Everyone experiences the stages differently. People who are unable to move to the acceptance stage, may need to seek help with a professional grief therapist. The following are a few questions and answers that may assist you in your time of loss.
Why do I feel so sad?
You have suffered a loss. The sadness is natural- a human feeling. Your pet was a friend and companion who meant a lot to you.
Should I talk about my sadness?
Yes. Talk to family and friends, tell them how you feel. If they aren't sympathetic, call a pet grief support program like the Delta Society (210) 227-4357 or your animal hospital. We can offer support and sympathy, most of us have experienced the loss of a much-loved pet and can perhaps help you cope.
Is it OK to cry?
Crying is a natural expression of emotion. Yes, it's OK to cry.
Why do I feel guilty?
Sometimes we think we could have or should have done more to help our pets. We blame ourselves. Guilt is a normal response to losing a pet and is a difficult stage in our grieving, but understanding that you did what you thought best at the time, will help ease that pain.
How can I help my children?
Children also grieve. Encourage your children to talk about their feelings. Do they blame themselves? Blame the parents? Honesty is usually best when discussing a pet's death with a child. Allow the child to grieve. Mementos of the pet and reexperiencing the "good times" with discussions often help children deal with their pain.
When should I obtain a new pet?
A new pet cannot replace the previous one. A new pet can fill the void and perhaps ease some of the grief. But each animal has a different personality, habits, and place in the family so careful consideration must be given to the decision.
What is Euthanasia?
When a pet is terminally ill with no hope of recovery and her/his quality of life has declined, a final act of kindness may be called for. The veterinarian can assist the pet's family with a humane, dignified, and pain-free end to the pet's life.
Should I be present for my pet's euthanasia?
Staying with your pet during the euthanasia may actually comfort your pet and allow you to say good-bye. Seeing your pet after euthanasia has been performed may allow closure for you and aid you in the grief process.
Above question/answer section written with the assistence of:
Pet Loss and Human Bereavement by Kay, Nieburg, Kutscher, Grey, and Fudin. Iowa State University Press, 1984.
Death of a Pet by Potter and Koss. 1991. Distributed by Delta Society.
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